Sometimes it feels like maintaining my friendships is like making a meal — time-intensive, not as easy as expected, and uncomfortable. But once I’m biting into that ravioli of friendship, all the trouble melts away, and I am left with the satisfaction of having put in effort and succeeded at making something truly nourishing.
If you’re craving stronger connections that satiate for longer by standing the test of time, you’ve come to the right place. The following is a step-by-step guide to garnishing your life with the flavors of friendship. Thankfully, it doesn’t take a Michelin-starred chef to make this recipe a reality.
For your connection concoction, you will need:
- a sprinkling of intentionality
- a bit of proximity
- a dash of dependability
- a ray of positivity
- a hint of flexibility
- a pinch of vulnerability
- a smidge of commonality
- a touch of reciprocity
- and a whole lot of connectivity
- First, you have to gather your ingredients. Here’s where you’ll find them:
- Intentionality requires you to put in real effort and listen to your friends. You’ll find this ingredient when you put down your phone and focus on a conversation.
- Proximity is being nearby, even when physically distant. You’ll find this in your neighborhood, at your school, and a phone call away from the right friends.
- Dependability offers that social support that can lift you up when you’re down and help you out by being around. You’ll find this on a friend’s shoulder to cry on and carried on their back when they’re helping you move your couch.
- Positivity is sunshine in the form of a smile, a celebration of your accomplishments, and kind words in a card. You’ll find this all around you, if you have the right mindset to see it.
- Flexibility is letting go of perfection and putting people over plans. You’ll find this meeting your friends where they’re at — on a late-night phone call, at a spontaneous outing, and at home in pajamas when going out feels like too much.
- Vulnerability is the risk of putting yourself out there, sharing a personal story, and hoping to be accepted. You’ll find this in the tears you shed revealing your secrets and the shared hope of not feeling alone.
- Commonality is the interests, hobbies, and nerd-out-isms you didn’t think another person could share with you. You’ll find this when you realize the similarities you have and excite in them together.
- Reciprocity is helping others like they’d help you. You’ll find this in returning favors and taking turns giving and receiving.
- Connectivity is the glue that binds people together. You’ll find this when you’re present with others whom you can rely on.
- Once you’ve gathered your nine ingredients, mix them together to make the secret sauce of social connection.
- Simmer over a low heat (aka keep an eye on your friendship so it doesn’t burn out), stir occasionally (that’s your continued attention), and spice it up with your favorite herbs (common interests, fun activities, and quality “thyme”).
- Serve, and enjoy together! Connection always tastes better when it’s shared.